New art in progress...

Sinai Photos

Enough!

No more will I disown my own dignity for a flimsy chance that my olive tree branch will actually grow into some sort of forest so my soul wont feel so whorish. I keep asking... cant you hear me? Its not me you fear. Can you feel me? Or is misunderstanding all I have to stand on? Stand strong. Like bamboo. Sun Tzu. The art of war is no art to me. I am the water. You cant steal whats been given freely. Everything Ive done, Ive said was an invitation to the lonely party in my head. Reach out to me like you said you would. But people are people. Win the lottery and you come with you. The same weak, the same mind. The same games waste your time. Me?
I move up. Simultaneously in and out. Like a Marvel X-Man be laid and slain by my shout. I'm here. I'm coming. I'm going. Unavoidable. Fuck warriors code. This is bigger. Quit scratching that trigger finger and move beyond yourself for we awaits. No baited hooks or crooked gates. By myself I am only a fraction of what was meant to be. Quit demanding to control our situation so we can take a walk and see what innocent curiosity will bring us. What living waters will spring us. Into the next reality. Dimensions await between galaxies. They are calling... I cant ignore them. Will you follow? Hold my hand so each others courage we can borrow. Or is this one just God and I again? Call me a sucker but to mock my eagerness... ever willing tenderness is not my sin. For someday this shit will bypass you. Never shit talk you or back glance you. You cant shit on a bullet but I'm superman. I sleep in the wedding bed of the master plan. My growth is inevitable. See that as a threat or your ticket in. My soul wishes you'd see the VIP seats have been waiting for you. Do you dare come in?

Crossroads

I can see the crossroads apass. Here with the bedouin strong as desert. Soft as sea. Moving like a wind forever free. Leaving behind overwhelm. The uninspired state of mind that bears a fruitless tree. There is no separation. I shed for God anew. My mind. My honor. My pocket. May these be the focus of my work. Held by the relationships I asked for. In a land from long past where suffocating souls can gasp for a lungful of peace. Reciting scriptures from the Book of Nature. I am. Not my body. Not my game. Nor my complaining or laying blame. Not my wins nor my skills. An experience of God being realized via me. I choose my highest. A fevered pitch of beauty. I too will dance beyond right and wrong. The Moon is my sister and my brother, the Sun.

Left Sinai

Well after a month of trying to start up the camp Ive spent a year dreaming about, its time to take a break. Maybe indefinetly. I can see that my roots are in my home. My home. I long to be there. I miss my people. Im considering coming home early and I dunno what next. Sudan is turning out to be almost impossible to get a visa for. Im about to head south this eve on a train for Luxor. The Valley of the Kings. Should be epic. I spent the day handling business in Cairo. My visa is now for 6mo so I dont have to worry about passport issues while in Egypt. If I cant get further south than Egypt then I might head west towards Morrocco. Its all up in the air. I was planning to go spend some time in a monestary where the monks live in caves but Islamic militants have recently attacked the monestary which is Coptic so its closed to the public for the forseeable future. At this point the wind is my guide.

Dreams...

I dreamt of you last nite.
Echos of you still linger in the canyon of my love.
I dreamt you had found another.
My friend, my brother.
And it was a painful piercing blizzard.
Yours was the warmth to thaw my heart frozen from hurts long past.
I miss you.
I hate you.
I want to be with you again.
Stare into you again.
Be all mixed up again.
I would hurt with you if you would dress my wounds.
Together in this womb of life.
Peel me away as the wind peels the skin off the mountain
Tumbling in their infinite dance.
I'm wanting to taste you.
I can still smell you.
Falling awake into my dreams of you.
I wonder if you miss me too?

Getting ready to build....

Hey family, Ive been in Sinai now for 3 weeks. Next week we will leave to the mountains to visit some Bedouin family for wedding dinners and celebrations. We will also be going to Cairo for building materials. I will be making about 20 geodesic domes out of bamboo and fabric. Building with a lot of stone and mud as well. We are working to set up a fully green and self sustaining retreat center. We have also been cleaning the reef of nets and fish traps long abandoned by local fishermen. The work is hard but the reward is the clean environment.

WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!
If you ever wanted to support peace in the Middle East and didn't know how... you can now. A donation of any size will help tremendously. $1 is equal to 5 egyptian pounds and can go a long way. 1 hut will cost about $100. Send yo lunch money! Go to purejustin.com and find the Africa page. At the bottom of the page is the paypal donation button. Its on! If you are interested in coming to Egypt to help build or visit please let me know. Its our honor to host you.

Thanks for all your support and love. Please send this blog to your friends, collegues, family, students, etc. Lets, as American people, do what we can for the rest of the world.

Always,
-J

Update on my travels:

Hey all,
I left the States a few weeks ago for Cairo via stops in NYC and Paris. The trip was smooth and Cairo nite air found me with a driver and a car waiting to take me to Shereef's parents when I arrived. They got me a hotel room nearby and I was able to get a good nights sleep. The next day I woke early and watched the sun rise over half finished buildings. I arrived during the last week of Ramadan, the month long fast for the Muslims, so there was a special buzz in the air. A few hours later I was on a bus to Sinai. Six hours of sitting left my ass sore but I could barely contain myself as we got close to the Red Sea. I was so excited that I left my ukelele on the bus. Guess it wasnt meant to be on this trip.

When I arrived at my destination, a small bamboo hut and a young Bedouin (Bedouin is to the Middle East as Native American is to the States) man awaited my arrival. I had 5 days to myself before my friend Hany arrived. The peace and quiet was so delightful. After a few days of solice my friend arrived just in time for the post Ramadan holiday. People from Cairo came out to the sea for holiday and the past week was spent helping Hany make the guests comfortable.

The land Im staying on is the land Ive been planning to develop for the past year. I have yet to start building up the retreat because there has been drama in regards to the land ownership. I cant tell you how wild it is to sit in the candle light with Bedouin men dressed in white robes as we drink tea and watch them argue the land rights. Im certainly in a different world.

In one weeks time we are planning to head for the desert where hidden villages await. We will make our way to the Mediterranean sea and then back to Cairo. At this point I will most likely head South for Africa is calling. I will write soon.

-J

A new poem.

Look around. Can you see the reality? Can you see from whence you come? God is all around... for God is all. Not figuratively. Not another fancy notion or day dream like the world of man. God is truth. Truth is now. Look around and see the now. Can you see? Some would say "How an there be war and pain in this world? Why would God allow all of this if God were trully real?" You would have God remove freewill? Take away the option of choice that men and women may be free? Aye, it would be simple in the mind of men but God's mind is subtle. Would you freely give your choices to God's own unfolding? Would you give up the mind of men for the mind of God? There is no war in God's mind. All is in place. Balanced. Would you relinquish your right to run from left to right as far and fast as your impulses would drive you in order that God's own balance could take effect? While pain and war are yet more evidence of God's mercy we were never meant to hold Darkness. This weight is for God's own shoulders should you allow it. Bask in the revelation of the Light subtle. The grossness of Darkness is too loud for God's subtlety. Being is the loudest voice of all. Let go of talking about the feast and eat. Do not covet the fruits of God's table for mana anew is yours on the morrow. Can you make space for this? To compare all of life to your past's pain is to make up an idol of your pain. There is only one true God. A God above comparissons and besting. The path is in for your being proclaims God's glory just as the rocks and sky sing God. Your very throat functions in God's grand majesty... Do your words echo such? Or has your voice become dull in your own ears? Has God walked beside you for so long that you assume? Take heed that God also longs for you. That God's heart is that of your dreamed lover. Willing to endure any heart break suffered from the vastness of God's adoration for you. Will you embrace? Magic is yours for this is God's delight. Look around at the Now. Can you see?

Look around!! Its all right here... can you see it?

I'm in Sinai Egypt. Sitting on the shore Ive longed to be at for a year past. As I write this time I seek peace from my ever-willing critic and depression that would devour even this moment if granted permission. God is good. Over the past year I have done much. I started drawing here on this beach a year ago and I return with shirts bearing my artwork and requests for tattoo and logo design. All this under the over bearing weight of my critic. I am amazing. I push so hard. Peace is mine as I wish to let go of this weight. I seek God in a new and deeper way. A deeper relationship. Not seeking. The present what is. To take hold of care. No racing around sporadically. Grounded. Clever mires me. Just flow. Let go into pieces surely dissolve into peace. Its all good. Wanting to learn something new can be in flow with my soul. Not the "I" for I take shit personally. I am along for the ride. Its glorious. To struggle with darkness is to last great pain at times. So I let go of ambition. Be present and train to gain strength. See what happens. Allow for God to furnish life. This means conform to peace. Tell my big brother thanks for not letting me cop his shit. What can you take when all is already freely given? We presume God too much. This stance of knowing. Its all right here!!! Look! Can you see it? Or do you throw your trash and assault your body with the rest of us? Have we forgotten our beauty? Its all right here! Look around. It support your very looking. The only problem with God always being present is that we have become numb. Is your voice common to you that your splendor is lost?