Look around!! Its all right here... can you see it?

I'm in Sinai Egypt. Sitting on the shore Ive longed to be at for a year past. As I write this time I seek peace from my ever-willing critic and depression that would devour even this moment if granted permission. God is good. Over the past year I have done much. I started drawing here on this beach a year ago and I return with shirts bearing my artwork and requests for tattoo and logo design. All this under the over bearing weight of my critic. I am amazing. I push so hard. Peace is mine as I wish to let go of this weight. I seek God in a new and deeper way. A deeper relationship. Not seeking. The present what is. To take hold of care. No racing around sporadically. Grounded. Clever mires me. Just flow. Let go into pieces surely dissolve into peace. Its all good. Wanting to learn something new can be in flow with my soul. Not the "I" for I take shit personally. I am along for the ride. Its glorious. To struggle with darkness is to last great pain at times. So I let go of ambition. Be present and train to gain strength. See what happens. Allow for God to furnish life. This means conform to peace. Tell my big brother thanks for not letting me cop his shit. What can you take when all is already freely given? We presume God too much. This stance of knowing. Its all right here!!! Look! Can you see it? Or do you throw your trash and assault your body with the rest of us? Have we forgotten our beauty? Its all right here! Look around. It support your very looking. The only problem with God always being present is that we have become numb. Is your voice common to you that your splendor is lost?